BAD Buys
*Tired of your precious tequila taking a leak in your luggage? Bottle Condoms are leak-proof (?) bottle protectors that keep your toiletries (or beverages) safe while traveling. Just slide it on, seal it up, end enjoy 99% protection (because nothing in life is truly 100%). BAD Buy of the Week Approved.
*The "I Swear I’m Fancy" Ziploc Bag Candy Dish Ever wanted your candy to look classy while still screaming “I have kids and zero control over my spending habits”? Meet the Ziploc Bag Candy Dish—a glass replica of a crumpled plastic bag, because nothing says “I make good life choices” like serving snacks out of a $40 version of something you usually throw away. BAD Buy Of The Week Approved
*Tired of your kids yelling “DAD!” five times before you realize they’re talking to you? It might not be selective hearing after all—you just need to clean out those dad ears. This BAD-approved earwax cleaner is the perfect tool to keep your hearing sharp (for important things, like game commentary and the sound of a tequila pour). BAD Buy of the Week Approved.
The Sophie & Panda Fuzzy Ball Towel Ever wanted to dry your hands with something that looks like a cross between a bath mat and a Tribble? Enter the Sophie & Panda Fuzzy Ball Towel, a glorified loofah that doubles as home décor—because nothing says “elegance” like a plush pom-pom hanging from your wall. Perfect for adding unnecessary flair to your bathroom while confusing every guest who dares to ask, “Wait… is that a towel?” Functional? Debatable. A conversation starter? Absolutely.
*The Butter Condom: Because Your Butter Deserves Protection Tired of your butter drying out or absorbing weird fridge smells? Slip on a Butter Condom and keep it fresh, because nothing says responsible adulting like protecting your butter better than your 20s self protected their budget. Perfect for: 🧈 Keeping your butter from hardening in the fridge 💰 Justifying another ridiculous Amazon purchase 😂 Making your fridge look like it’s hosting a very weird afterparty #BADBuyOfTheWeek Approved.
*Towel Bands – Because Wrestling Your Towel in the Wind Is Not a Sport Introducing Towel Bands – the elastic MVPs of poolside parenting. These genius little straps hold your towel down tighter than your toddler clings to you when it’s time to leave the playground. Wind? Kids cannonballing next to your perfectly laid setup? Doesn’t matter. Your towel isn’t going anywhere. No more chasing your towel across the beach like a broke-ass ninja. No more pretending your flailing towel dance is “intentional.” Just chill, sip your watered-down resort cocktail, and let the towel bands do what they were born to do: prevent a full-blown poolside panic attack. Warning: May cause envy from other parents still using flip-flops as towel weights.
*Affiliate Disclaimer (Because Lawyers Said So)
Alright, listen up—some of the links on this site are affiliate links. That means if you click them and buy something, we get a tiny commission (at no extra cost to you). Will it cover our kids’ college tuition? Absolutely not. Will it fund another questionable Amazon purchase? Probably.
Just know that we only recommend things we actually like (or things ridiculous enough to roast). If it sucks, we’ll tell you. If it’s amazing, we’ll also tell you—but with fewer dad jokes.
Thanks for supporting Broke Ass Dads! Your clicks keep our wallets slightly less empty.